Things I Could Have Been

I could have been a waste of space,
And while I couldn’t say,
That I stand out in the teeming throng,
When it comes to push and shove,
I sparkle in a group of one

I could have been a crock of shit,
And while it may be true,
That crocks of shit are pretty crap,
I have to say I’m not full up,
And only halfway full of pooh.

I could have been a total arse,
And while I might well be,
A semi-demi-partial bum,
I hope that I can stand up tall,
And say I’m not a total one.