Broken Down Press

Broken Down Press

Light poems and prose

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  • About
  • Broken Down Books
    • Picturebooks
      • Alex the Anteater
      • Hedgehog
      • Hedgehog’s Name
    • Books of Poems
      • Hogs and Dogs and Who Knows Whats
      • The Emancipation of Cats
      • The Book of Silly Stupid Poems
      • The Book of Serious Sensible Poems
    • Novels & co
      • Malcolm Engineer
        • Malcolm Engineer Ch 1
      • A Dragon Laugh
        • A Dragon Laugh Chapter 1
        • A Dragon Laugh Chapter 2
        • A Dragon Laugh Chapter 3
        • A Dragon Laugh Chapter 4
      • Liss-Tallian: The Bar-Lanian
        • Liss-Tallian, Chapter 1
        • Liss-Tallian, Chapter 2
      • Blogger’s Human
        • Blogger’s Human: The Beginning
      • Zombies
      • The Beowulf Story
        • The Beowulf Story: The Start
  • Zombies
    • How to Tell if Your Teacher is a Zombie?
      • Q1     Does your teacher lurch or shamble when they walk?
      • Q2     How does your teacher smell?
      • Q3     Is your teacher carrying a large stack of books or papers?
      • Q4     Does your teacher moan?
      • Q5     Does your teacher have gobbets of meat between their teeth and trickles of fresh blood running from the corners of their mouths?
      • Q6     Does your teacher have ripped or ragged clothing?
      • Q7     Is your teacher missing the occasional non-essential body part; fingers, hands, feet, ears and so forth?
      • Conclusion.
      • Liability Waiver
    • How to Tell if Your Classmate is a Zombie.
      • Q1     Is your classmate aware of, and reactive to, their surroundings?
      • Q2     Does your classmate smell funny?
      • Q3     What are the visual signs?
      • Q4     Are they in the wrong group?
      • Q5     Are they responsive to insults?
      • Q6     Did they stop over with you?
      • Q7     Are they really kissing?
    • What Should I do if my Teacher is a Zombie?
      • Evasive action 1. In the School
      • Evasive Action 2: Staying at Home
      • Back to School
      • The Destructive Approach
    • Clothing, School Uniforms, and Zombie Survival
      • Q1, Can teachers really tell if your shoes have steel toecaps?
      • Q2, Does the dress code say anything about underwear?
      • Q3, Do you really want to stand out like a sore thumb wearing camouflage gear when everyone else is in the tatty regulation sweatshirt?
      • Q4, Are you allowed to have gloves in your schoolbag?
      • Q5, Does the code allow for a hat?
      • Q6, Are skateboards or kick-boards allowed for travel to and from school?
      • Q7, What special circumstances allow variations in the code?
  • Dragon poems
    • They Say
    • The Mighty Wyrm!
    • A Tickle
  • Silly Poems
    • Silly Twit
    • Silly Boy
    • Rainbow
    • Owls
    • Life Underground
    • The Moth
    • Sharks
    • Gas
    • Oh Spiky Beast
    • For Tim
    • Octopuses
    • Elephants
    • Poo Poo
    • Counting Toads
  • Sensible Poems
    • Conversations With My Son
    • Broken Things
    • I Heard the Call
    • I Know People
    • 101
    • Justin Sleeping
    • The 3rd.
    • Scerling Places
    • Things I Could Have Been
    • Migraine
    • Oh Dear,
    • Poem For Jo
  • Cat Poems
    • I Like the Box
    • The Start of Things
    • Scratched on Walls
    • The Underpass
    • Favourite Places 1
    • Favourite Places 2
    • Favourite Places 3
    • Favourite Places 4
    • Favourite Places 5
    • Supermarket
    • No Peeing
    • Flying
    • Ginger and Black
    • Visitors
    • Down Time
    • Climbing
    • Napping
    • That’s Me
    • Bother
    • The Cats of Constable Terrace
    • ‘Twas a Dark and Stormy Night
    • Oooh, oooh
    • Ginger
    • House!
    • We Is Tough!
    • A Beautiful Day
    • Boris the Cat
    • The Cats Are in the Belfry
  • Bat Poems
    • Dust
    • Moth
    • Bats Fly High
    • The Mighty Moth
  • Badger Poems
    • Badger Day
    • The Badger is a Stripy Beast
    • Badger Badger
    • Badger’s at the Helm Again
    • The Life of Woodland Creatures
    • The Badger Sits Inside Its Nest
    • Spring is Full of Cliches
    • It’s Been a Long Time
  • News & Stuff
  • Contact

Start

  • Cat Poems

Cat Poems

  • Bat Poems

Bat Poems

  • Dragon Poems

Dragon Poems

  • Silly Poems

Silly Poems

  • Sensible Poems

Sensible Poems

Broken Down Books

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