Gods! I can just see you all out there, sniggering to yourselves, saying, duur, stoopid writer of stoopid zombie book doesn’t know that skate-boards and kickboards aren’t clothing.  Well tough luck all of you because I do know!

Right, what’s next?

OK, maybe I included this category a little bit by accident because I was writing under the influence of mind-altering drugs. But maybe, just maybe, I did it on purpose! Wouldn’t you just really like to know why? Yeah, well, me too, but since it’s here, let’s talk boards, baby! (What? No one says ‘baby’ anymore? Well I never did in that very short couple of days when it was actually fashionable, so I’m going to say it now, baby! Chew on that! (And also, if you think I actually care about being fashionable, think this, I’m writing a zombie apocalypse self-help book, so just how interested in being cool do you really, really, think I am?)

And get this: Skateboards and kick-boards are dangerous. Even more dangerous than bicycles. So, they need protective gear! Yes! Air-punch! There was a reason after all! Gods, I’m brilliant! (baby).