Interestingly, whilst most teenagers are incredibly sensitive to anything which reduces their already minimal self esteem, or challenges their unaccountably high self esteem, zombies are incredibly thick skinned. You can insult a zombie until you are blue in the face and they will never, repeat, never, get upset. This interesting little factoid results in one of the most enjoyable zombie litmus tests ever. Be rude. Insult people’s gender, sexual orientation, physical proportions, intelligence, over intelligence, looks, levels of naturally occurring bodily odours, lack of (or over production of) secondary sexual characteristics such as facial hair, armpit hair, leg hair, acne, and of course, breasts (especially for boys). It is also a surprisingly effective technique to simply employ generic terms of offence, such as doofus, shit dribbler, Quasimodo, eejit, ugly, spot factory, dog botherer, slug brain, and so on. In short, any kind of insult, even if lacking in any creative qualities whatsoever, will serve to get a response out of the average teenager, who, even if not actually insulted, often feels a need to respond to insults even if only to show that they don’t give a shit what you think, because you, after all, are a stupid, friendless, apocalypse prepper who ought to be locked up in a high security facility for the terminally deluded (or so they think!). So, in short, an insulted human teenager will respond in some definite way to your pathetic insults (hopefully not too violently) but the walking dead will simply turn in the direction of your voice, recognise dinner, and move decisively in your direction. This is when you run, or if pressed, counter attack (see section on taking offensive action).